Why can life be so crappy??

I haven't blogged in a month and my last post was not 'good' news. This one won't be any better so if you want to read something light and fluffy and funny, you won't find it here.

One of my closest, dearest most special friends is Amber Macneil. Some of you know that just over 2 years ago, she was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Shortly after her diagnosis, my dear friend Kristen, also a close friend of Amber's was diagnosed with cancer. Kristen passed away on October 4th, 2013. Amber and Kristen walked their journeys together... it was sad and beautiful all at the same time. This past September, Amber was advised to undergo 6 weeks of daily radiation to keep her tumor at bay. She finished her treatments last Wednesday... victory, right? Um, no. A week later, Amber was dropped with yet another bomb... her youngest daughter, Kyla, was diagnosed with leukemia (I'm not even gonna dignify that word with a capital letter). We are all believers and amidst Amber's battle, she was faithful to Jesus. She inspired and continues to do so. However, I can't lie, when I read her text "she has leukemia", I dropped my phone and asked, "what the fuck?". At a time like that, an F bomb is entirely necessary. I don't care what anyone says... it's releasing. Usually, my first reaction in hard times (mine and those of the ones I love) is to pray. I firmly believe in the power of prayer (I still do) but I haven't been able to bring myself to that place of asking God for help. I KNOW he's there, I KNOW he's in control, I KNOW he loves Kyla, I KNOW his peace surpasses all understanding but I just don't get it. Why, God, why? How much can one family take? Why does a sweet, spunky, spirited 3 year old have to fight cancer? Why does Ryan and Amber have to go through yet another shitty journey? What good could possibly come out of this? And as I write this (and the tears stream down my face), I know that God has got this. I know he has their back and I know he has mine. I feel it. I may not understand why these things happen but I do know God... sometimes... and I know he loves hard and loves faithfully. I know he leaves his thumbprint behind on even the smallest situations. I know he died for me, for Kyla and for Amber and that he is orchestrating something powerful. I know he'll never leave us or abandon us. I know he heals (I've seen it and experienced it... not just physical healing but he's healed my heartbreak time and time again). And right now, I am heartbroken. I'm heartbroken for Amber and all that she must be feeling... I can't even begin to understand her pain. I'm heartbroken for Kyla and the childhood she won't have. I'm heartbroken for Ryan who must, once again, watch his family suffer through pain and crappy times. I'm heartbroken for Kinley who doesn't understand why her sister can't be at home. I'm heartbroken for Ry & Amber's parents who have to sit idly by and watch their offspring hurt. I'm also mad. So mad. WHY the hell do these things happen? And why do they have to happen to the people I love? (I realize that that may be an insensitive question, but it's how I feel). And yet, STILL, I trust God. I trust him with Kyla and everything else not right in my life and my heart and this world.

I'm feeling a little better.

Kyla, the little lady next to Isla in her pink party dress!

In Honor of Kristen...

My strong, courageous, beautiful and faith-filled friend, Kristen, past away this past Friday morning. She lost her battle with cancer... one that took her body but not her soul. Kristen was a charismatic, funny, caring, talented woman who was both an amazing mother and wife. Her life has not been lost in vain... I have no doubt that her story has changed the lives of many, many people. Kristen had unwavering faith, something that has inspired me in my own relationship with Jesus. Despite this battle... and fight she did, she never let go of Jesus. She held on tight to his promises and believed for her healing. She is healed and singing in the presence of Jesus in heaven. I believe that with my entire heart. She is restored and more beautiful than ever. Kristen was a very talented singer... she had a voice so pure and beautiful that it rendered me speechless many times over. I have such a clear picture in my head of her singing with the angels, laughing and running through the streets of heaven. She will be deeply, deeply missed. It's hard to believe she's gone... I have known her for my entire life. Many, MANY of my childhood memories involve Kristen... breaking her parents decorations, having sleepovers with lots of chocolate, swinging in the park while singing songs from Sister Act 2, falling asleep on the beach and waking up completely sunburnt, dancing in my basement to "it's a kodak moment" and then smacking my head so hard it bled... and Kristen laughed, playing hide and go seek, the Singing Christmas Tree at church, endless youth events... and the list goes on. We've shared our weddings, the birth of our children, and so many of life's monumental moments. Kristen was a fixture in my life... a lifelong friend that I knew I could count on at any given moment. I have cried so many tears and have found myself in a fog... but the words that have brought me such comfort came from my beautiful daughter, Isla... "Mommy, don't be sad. We have many happy memories of Aunty Kristen. You'll never forget her". It's true... I have endless wonderful memories of Kristen... of who she was, what she believed in and the legacy she has left behind. Heaven just got lucky... Knowing she is in a better place, a place that is home to her doesn't take away the pain but it provides hope. My thoughts and prayers will always be with Mike, her 3 beautiful boys and the rest of her family. The hope we have in Jesus is powerful and it will sustain.

Spartan Super!

On September 7th, I ran my biggest and most challenging race of the season... a 14 km Spartan Race. This race was located in Red Deer. Cheryl (my Spartan sister) and I, packed our bags and headed down Friday night! We checked into our hotel and then drove to the race sight... immediately we were both excited and nervous! I had been training extremely hard for this race! At the end of June, I started 6 weeks of one-on-one sessions with my trainer. He had me on a very difficult 7 week training program.
Weeks 1-4 were 2 running days (a 5 km sprint interval run, a 7 km run or a 9 km run) and 3 lifting days. Weeks 5-7 were 3 running days (alternating through the 3 distances) and 2 lifting days. This was a challenging program but golly.... it worked! I felt so strong and so prepared for the Spartan Race. My goal heading into it was to accomplish it in less than 2 hours. My final time was 1:27:32, which is 33 minutes under my goal! Not only that, I completed 2 obstacles that I failed at in the Edmonton race in June. Not only that, I was the 8th girl to finish in my heat, so I was certainly proud of that! I felt incredible during this race... fatigued, yes but not exhausted! It was SO much fun! Our trainer came down to support us and the rest of the people from Servus who ran the race! I am already looking forward to next year and the 3 distances we are aiming to accomplish: 5 km, 14 km and a 20 km, also known as the Spartan trifecta! CANNOT WAIT!

pre-race hotel shots

matching Spartan Sisters!

showing off our guns!

a little pre-race fuel... nothing like a 5 hour energy drink!

The Dream Team!

post race medal eating!

I rinsed off already... we did it!

post-race Cora's!

post-race blister! (I had one the exact same on my other foot, too)

Such an incredible experience!

Random Acts of Kindness

This weekend, I was the recipient of 2 very touching and heartfelt acts of kindness.
On Saturday while I was at a baby shower for my beautiful new niece, a very dear dear friend of mine who I love deeply and confide in regularly, dropped off a lovely card, and a wonderful gift. I've been struggling with a few things in life lately, and this card was so positive and uplifting and it reminded me that these times will pass and I'll get through them. Inside was some bath salts (that were used immediately as I LOVE baths) and a new Lulu tank, which I also used today in my workout! It's so cute and extra special that it was a gift. Thank you, my friend from the bottom of my heart for your love and generosity! You're the cats meow!

That evening, I decided to take Annie out for Pho... and by Annie I mean myself because there was no way she was going to eat salad rolls and beef lemongrass. At the restaurant, I recognized a young family that attends our church. I've never met either of them but recognize their kids from Sunday school. We chatted for a few minutes about our kids and that was that. When I went to pay my bill, this kind family had paid for my meal. How sweet is that? It warmed my heart!

I love these things... it inspires me to do this for others. These things (or notes or a coffee drop-off) can mean the world to others but if you don't do them, you'll never know. I know how touched I felt by these 2 kind acts. I want to Pay it Forward (sidenote: remember that movie... I was a bawling mess).

A Summery Photo Journey..

VEGAS!

On July 24th, 4 of my favorites and I depared E-Town to rock Vegas! My sister-in-law and bossom, best friend Nicole, turned 30 and we celebrated with a girls trip to eat, drink and be merry!

This was an absolutely fabulous time! We laid poolside, went to pool parties, ate delicious food, relaxed, went dancing till all hours of the night and laughed... oh golly, did we laugh! We chatted, we bonded and we just focused on being women instead of moms, wives, etc.... We also took our sweet time getting ready each night and all 5 of us felt beautiful and lovely! It was a nice departure for me from my regular look of "sweaty gym rat". This time away from home made me realize that I love my family so much and am so fortunate to have 2 healthy, beautiful daughters and a hard-working, responsible husband. It also made me realize how important it is for me to take time away... to focus on myself and nurturing things in me that often get neglected and ignored. Refueling is integral to being the best mom and wife I can be and times like these are both required and welcomed.

Here are a few photos of the 260 I took. Enjoy!

A to Z

Here is a cool blog post I saw floating around the blogosphere today... thought I would do it too!

A. Attached or Single?

Attached... been so for 11.5 years.

B. Best Friend?

I have so many good, quality friends in my life. I have been so blessed and feel incredibly lucky to be surrounded by amazing, inspiring, like-minded women. Each friendship I have enriches my life in it's own unique way... it's too difficult to pick one friend. Each one of my lady loves moves me in their own particular way. And I am thankful.

C. Cake or Pie?

As if there is even a choice... Cake. For Sure. 

D. Day of Choice?

Friday... it's the end of the work week and the beginning of the weekend!

E. Essential Item?

Beauty: Mascara. Any kind. Will not leave without it. 

Clothing: A good pair of dark skinny jeans.

Workout: Music and quality ear phones. CANNOT exercise without music.

F. Favorite Color?

To wear: blue (any shade) and green. But in general... yellow or teal. Anything bright!

G. Gummy bears or worms?

If I must choose... gummy bears. But I much prefer chocolate. 

H. Home Town?

Good ol' Edmonton. 

I. Favorite Indulgence?

A big piece of dessert from Vi's for Pies. 

J. January or July?

Again, as if there was a choice. July. Always July.

K. Kids?

Have 2 of em. Love the 2 I have beyond measure. Don't want anymore.

L. Life isn't complete without?

Training. *and of course the obvious*

M. Marriage Date?

May 14, 2005

N. Number of brothers/sisters?

One brother, 2 brother in laws, 3 sister in laws. 

O. Oranges or Apples?

Apples

P. Phobias?

Crazy carpets. Had a terrible experience with one in grade 4. I've been scarred ever since. 

Q. Quotes?

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
- Maya Angelou

R. Reason to smile?

I have lots:

- my family

- I am loved (by God, family and friends)

- I am healthy

- I have discovered something (at the age of 28) that I am incredibly passionate about and it brings me so much joy

S. Season of Choice?

Summer. I love dressing cute! And the sunshine!

T. Tag 5 People.

This I will not do. 

U. Unknown fact about me?

oh jeez. I have a shame crush on Dr. Phil.

V. Vegetable?

Spaghetti Squash.

W. Worst Habit?

Biting my nails.

X. X-Ray or Ultrasound?

Ultrasound for sure... you can see cool things, like babies!

Y. Your favorite food?

Peanut Butter. I need an Intervention. A jar a week is both disgusting and expensive. But golly, it's good!

Z. Zodiac Sign?

Sagittarius. 

And for the record, I'm not a big believer in Astrology but wow... I am a Sagittarius to a tee. Scary really.